Very recently I required to find the list of folders occupying maximum bytes in my notebook for housekeeping purposes, and was stumped to realise that its no simple task. So here I come with a code snippet, which scans the given drive and writes into an excel file - the folders, and bytes occupied by files in those folders, in KB units. As a pre-requisite, one need to create a directory named “Foldersize” under C: drive and want to place a button (named button1) in winform. Copying the following piece of code and executing will result in creation of an excel file under "c:\foldersize". Open the created excel file, sort the contents in descending order to spot the top culprit folder(s) occupying maximum space in your hard drive. I can guarantee that the code is not performance friendly, however does the required job with ease for me.
It takes circa 30 minutes to scan C: and 15 minutes to examine D:, in my PC.
The following lines scrutinizes D: drive alone, however one can modify the statement in bold with the drive subject to examination. All the best and happy coding.
Imports System.IO
Imports Microsoft.Office.Core
Public fdirsize As Double = 0
Public tmpfdirsize As Double = 0
Private Sub Button1_Click(ByValsender As System.Object, ByVal e AsSystem.EventArgs) Handles Button1.Click
Public Function GetDirectorySize(ByVal dirpath As String, ByRef wb As Excel.Workbook, ByRef ws As Excel.Worksheet, ByVal irow As Integer, ByVal icol As Integer) As Double
tmpfdirsize = 0
Dim fsizekb As Double
If System.IO.Directory.Exists(dirpath) = False Then
GetDirectorySize = fdirsize
Exit Function
EndIf
Try
Dim dirinfo As NewSystem.IO.DirectoryInfo(dirpath)
Dim oFiles As System.IO.FileInfo() = dirinfo.GetFiles()
If CInt(oFiles.Length) > 0 Then
Dim nFileLen As Integer = oFiles.Length
For i As Integer = 0 To nFileLen - 1
fdirsize += oFiles(i).Length
tmpfdirsize += oFiles(i).Length
Next
End If
fsizekb = Math.Round(tmpfdirsize / 1024, 2)
If fsizekb > 0 Then
ws.Cells(irow, icol) = fsizekb
ws.Cells(irow, icol + 1) = "KB"
ws.Cells(irow, icol + 2) = dirpath
irow += 1
End If
Dim oDirectories As System.IO.DirectoryInfo() = dirinfo.GetDirectories()
If dirinfo.GetDirectories.Length > 0 Then
Dim nDirLen As Integer = dirinfo.GetDirectories.Length
Having witnessed his interview in CNBC, one can vouch for the straightforwardness in his approach to target customer’s thoughts. Takanobu ito, President and CEO of Honda Motor, an engineering graduate who aspired to build aeroplanes, said to have joined Honda visualising his dream to be fulfilled one day. However things took a sweet turn after 30 years, only to make him a CEO of one of the most powerful Motor companies in Asia. Ito screamed simplicity on explaining the pulse of a biker; he believes what makes bike special over car is the 360 degree view and the air hitting the drivers' body based on the speed he/she travels. As a person who travelled at the back seat of a motorbike, even i have experienced those magical moments.
Here the visionary talks about going green; the next gen electric sports cars.
Despite of Honda market being challenged by rivals from China and South Korea, Ito believes that Honda has earned the good will which will help them satisfy their customers with new innovative ideas for long future.
I vaguely recall reading “The Count of Monte Cristo” by Alexander Dumas, when I was hardly 10 years old. I have been reading since then; lots of authors, various categories of publications in the quest of figuring out which genre is my cup of tea. And then I sank into Angels n Demons; a compelling and gripping read which made me wake up till early morning to complete the book. Dan Brown the master story teller who awed us with his chef d'oeuvre in the past, has come back after 6 years with his latest “The Lost Symbol”. Unfortunately Lost Symbol fails to match its predecessors not just in plot but also in pace. In reviews, the book got crucified by his fraternity and lashed out by readers across the globe. My verdict – Read it; Come on – It’s not that bad!!
The book promisingly opens with Masonic ritual performed on the antagonist and an invitation to Robert Langdon for an emergency Seminar. Soon characters Katherine Solomon, Malakh, Director Sato unfold before our eyes with an incident in U.S Capitol. The plot thickens from this point and story, instead of taking new pace becomes a documentary. The justification of brilliant Langdon’s arrival to Washington, sans logic. For some readers the biggest let down might be the suspense of who Malakh was.
However the book has Mr.Brown moments to cherish. Be it emoting Langdon’s frustration through “Google is not a synonym for research” or be it his elaboration on Thermal Imaging, TLV and Noetic Sciences, Mr.Brown excels in presentation. He once again proves his acumen in history and efficacy in his detailing. He is one author who analyses all possible cultures to connect the similarities. This read may not elate one as Da Vinci and Angels n Demons, but will enlighten us with new concepts and will raise new questions on Noetic Science and its capability.
Controversial (in India) bare back Kareena posters and "over-hyped" first reviews compelled me to step into cinemas and watch this movie. Well! My first impression – a very intelligent and bold attempt in Indian Cinema, matching international standards. The motion picture lives up to all the hype. We may have come across many terrorist based creations in the past but this is one of a kind. The beauty is, the story does not take any side. It is a literal copy and paste of emotions and happenings from blood shed earth onto silver screen.
In essence, the movie is about
a terrorist whose mission is to carry another 9/11 in New York
his wife trapped in marriage with him and in the hands of his group
and an undercover reporter who at any cost determined to save New York.
Trust me! The viewers get gripped to their seats for the next 2 hours and 40 minutes witnessing the events unfold with huge appreciation. The good news is one need not worry about not understanding Hindi. More than 60% of the conversation between characters is in English as the movie is solely based in Newyork and the characters are well-educated professors and reporters.
The USP of the film is the dialogues – stunning work by Niranjan Iyengar and Irfan Siddque. It really pierces your heart when an old father on being accused as a fundamentalist by his son, with all agony in his eyes, retaliates “From when supporting one’s religion did become fundamentalism son?”
However the penultimate moment is the conversation in classroom between students, on the subjectIslam and Modern World. A must watch sequence! It is a tight slap on face for countries hogging Iraq. On the other hand the depiction of ruthless one-dimensional hardcore terrorists certainly creates discomfort in your bottom stomach. The sequence where an airport official does a random check on a genuine Muslim traveller, leaving free the actual terrorist just before him deserves chuckle.
Kudos to Karan Johar (Producer) and Rensil D’silva (Director) for making this impeccable and intelligent effort. Salim-Sulaiman’s music and background score adds justice to the mood of the movie. My favourite number is “Ali Maula”
On performances – one word, Top-notch. Saif Ali Khan as an introvert terrorist and disguised professor does a commanding job. The character has been under-played with all emotions bottled-up; he brings how a real terrorist will be at large before our eyes. Kareena Kapoordoes a neat job as wife of a terrorist who was deceived by everything but love. She takes all applauds in the climax while asking her dying husband his real name. Vivek Oberoi as reporter Riyaaz Masud – a revelation. He plays with all conviction portraying today’s true Muslim, struggling for a normal identity, confronting his demons trying to save New York. His characterisation pulls a very brave question from the black bag. How tough is it to live happy and loyal in the current climate, born Muslim?
It has been more than 48 hours since I watched the film; it still remains fresh in my thoughts. I can vouch that, this movie is not just another Bollywood flick. It redefines Bollywood in international arena.
Football World Cup 2010 qualifiers! A knock out game between 1998 WC champions France and unseeded yet brilliant Ireland. The winner gets coveted ticket to South Africa and be part of "once in a four year" opportunity – World Cup Finale. At the end of 90 minutes the aggregate score between the teams was 1-1. In this Ireland radiant match, the unbelievable happens during extra time. Theirry Henry – the lifeline of French Football handles the ball, leading to William Gallas’ goal, securing the slot for France in World Cup 2010. The act went unnoticed by match referee and the line umpire, but not from Irish Players, the media and millions of viewers across the globe. The referee then blew his final whistle not just for the match, but also for the gallant Ireland’s hopes reaching World Cup Finals.
As expected there was huge outrage from Irish media and subtle defense from French camp. It’s evident that this will be marked as one of the dark moments in Football history. Well let’s look back at history! Who can forget the infamous Maradona quote “a little with head and little with Hand of GOD”. In 1986 football world cup, quarter finals between England and Argentina, England was on the receiving end fromMaradona’s Hand of GOD bravura act, scoring a goal not only to win the match 2-1, but also the World Cup of 1986. He made us swallow “Righteous Prevails – is for losers”
Henry and Maradona, two football legends, do not just believe in winning a match, but winning it at any cost. Everything is now fair in sports. On post match interview, Henry very easily shifted the onus onto match referee’s shoulders. There is neither conscience nor decorum in players anymore.
It is unfortunate that young aspiring kids look up-to these successful professionals and learn these sleazy techniques only to improvise them in their time.
Why not FIFA appoint a general body to monitor these malpractices and fine the player post match, issuing Red Card?
Many yearn rewinding their lives to commemorate those treasured moments whilst some long a dig into the past to re-live in a better way. In actuality, we loose the present chasing future and desiring the lost past.
My top 5 nostalgic moments:
Barbapapa – Periodically I wonder how this cartoon occupies a slot in my mind. I was six years old when i last last watched this classic in a black and white television. It is true that thoughts in young brain stands like a nail in banana tree. Every Sunday morning around 9ish, i used to sit before television, trying truly hard to swallow a cup of complan drink and watch the Barba family changing shapes like amoeba to entertain me and other characters inside the show. I was just one of them. Innocent Days!.
8th grade – The most successful year in my life till date. I was school topper in academics the whole year. I was unsurpassable. All teachers loved me. I tasted my first success in badminton, acquired my first gold medal for excelling in academics and won an opportunity to be part of my first ever science project at school. I have never ever been so successful in my entire life. Golden Days!.
1styear college – Clueless of life outside school I still remember my first day at college loitering like a lost lamb. Despite yearning to rewrite most of my moments in college, I still cherish the first year. New friends, first college cultural, first fashion show; and very first time I came across girls who can scream at top of their voices in auditorium. It was the beginning of a whole new life.Rejuvenating Days!.
1st IT job – After few non-IT job stints I landed in one stable career as an IT trainer. Our world was very small. Just 4 us, who ran the complete show in the company with great efficacy, right from training, to development, to setting up computers in network for 50+ people to carry out their project work. The more the responsibility the more we self educated. Our ensemble had an innate knowledge of “fun at work”. I rarely remember even a single day with no fun despite huge boulders at job. We laughed and we dreamt high. Simple yet Ambitious Days!.
1st week abroad – From a little caterpillar I was endowed with an opportunity to break from cocoon and empower in becoming a butterfly to fly far away from my comfort zone. Being my first time away from my parents and homeland, it was bemusing and amusing. The transition from a roasting hot weather to freezing cold conditions, change in time zones, variety of characters with diverse cultural background; it was tough initially yet a gleeful experience. The new found independence taught me mammoth lessons in life.Adventurous Days!.
Okay. What are the odds, for my previous post and this movie having a common ground? The movie speaks (mocks) about the power of mind and controlling them to kill goats.
My hubby and I have cultivated the habit of watching at least one movie each week. Being a huge movie buff with strong opinions, strangely this is my first movie review ever on paper… well on web. It’s a strange move that we decided to watch this piece of work by Grant Heslov in cinemas. Normally we watch chick flicks, documentaries, etcetera on DVDs.
Well having not read the book written by Jon Ronson myself, I am in no position to comment on whether the movie does justice to his work. However I can vouch for some rib-tickling moments in the presentation. In essence, the movie is about a secret psychic division in US military, its neurotic followers and the voyage of a journalist to middle-east with an eccentric psychic monk. The movie takes its pace when journalist Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) runs into weirdo Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), who declares that he was on a secret mission to Iraq. For the following 40 minutes per-say, the whole cinema auditorium was roaring with laughter. Be it, speaking about splitting clouds and leaving the car to crash, or talking about intuitions and taking 30 minutes to choose a road, Mr Clooney as Mr Cassady, excels. On the other hand Ewan McGregor gives a neat performance as a common man with fresh wounds from a broken relationship, clueless of what to do, join Clooney and realizes his stupidity when captured by some terrorists in Kuwait desert where it was too late. Normally tough to match Clooney’s performance when he is in song, McGregor delivers the impossible. Other person deserving applause is Jeff Bridges (Bill Django) as founder of this, one of a kind psychic division. Jeff occupies most of his screen space in Cassady’s flash backs as dynamic boss and steals the show.
However after an hour’s time, I suddenly realized that my eyes were burning and I was yawning uncontrollably. Anyone would have expected fireworks when Kevin Spacey (Larry Cooper) joins this three men team. In contrary, the movie slows down on introduction of emotional quotient and vicious Larry Cooper. The viewers had to literally push the last 30 minutes for the movie to end.
On the whole, the movie is worth the first half and some spectacular comic timing from George Clooney and Jeff Bridges.
Some authors make huge impact in the society by sharing virtue of knowledge through art of writing. Dan Brown – acclaimed thriller fiction novelist who shook the roots of Christianity with “Da Vinci Code”, embodies guts and gift in mixing the right dose of religion, science, history and mystery in his work. “Noetic Science” – subject known only to fraternity existed in research and scientific field, is now in every common man’s lips. This is one of the most googled topics post the release of Mr. Brown’s latest work “The Lost Symbol”. I am not here to pen down how Lost Symbol coerced to modify my perception on mind, mass and GOD. I am here to tap my temple (that’s what Mr. Brown refers to one’s mind) and pour my thoughts on some similarities noted in Dan Brown’s writing and Derren Brown’s: How to win lottery.
As stupid as this sound, let us stop judging my comparison for now and move on to renowned British illusionist Derren Brown, who made a startling prediction of lottery numbers in September 2009, worth generous few millions. Also Channel 4 aired a show of the acclaimed pysco-trickery illustrating how exactly he came with those six magical numbers worth a fortune. The demonstration was pretty interesting yet funny.
Derren assembled 24 selfless people who truly believed in his methods and never wanted any share from the lottery winnings. Noble attempt!! He asked them collectively to focus on their ultimate goal of predicting the numbers and called for to relax and draw six numbers with closed eyes taking their own time, using pencil and paper. He later took the first number from each person, added them together and divided the sum by 24. He declared that as the first predicted number of the set of six. Similarly he continued the effort to forecast the rest of the five numbers from their collective endeavour. There were mixed reactions when those six numbers actually won the prize. Many reckon that his prediction stint was a split camera trick and most refused to buy his explanation in channel 4 program. Cannot blame the viewers; it was really funny to see 24 people, locked in a room with closed eyes, scribbling something on a paper (I and my hubby left no stone unturned in mocking the same like a zombie). However there was one powerful paradigm he delivered through the exemplification - “Collective thoughts can influence an outcome”.
Prayers are held in churches, mosques and temples, in groups, for a reason - collective focused thoughts to influence the happenings around. To my astonishment my current reading, Dan Brown’s Lost Symbol also focuses on the power of human thoughts with convincing explanation. So, Do human thoughts really have mass? Do human mind have real power to modify the particles around us, physically? These are the million dollar questions may be noetic science experiments are trying to address. It is so strange that these theories, though tough to be believed, have been in existence for hundreds of years. Meditation and Yoga vouches that human mind can be controlled by self. Hypnotherapy again suggests mind can be controlled and made to communicate in a more relaxed environment. Telekinesis on the other hand trying hard to prove its existence, believes that human mind can control physical objects around. Isn’t that called MAGIC? Even though numerous “so-called” video evidences prevail in World Wide Web, they are tough to be accepted as most of them are hoax uploads in youtube. However, there are serious minds working round the clock to prove the power of mind scientifically, with strong supporting evidences.
Science or myth, Mass or Magic; it is sure lots is expected from fields like Noetic Sciences, in near future, in understanding human brain and its powers.
“Chandrayaan Mission a complete success” – ISRO at last have had an opportunity to boast on their hard work and acumen, in the field of science and become cynosure for all eyes in this world. When most smart Indian brains are lend to NASA, some back in ISRO today proved that they are not rusty either. It is a historic moment for India with the help of American Instrument; and an orgranisation like ISRO thoroughly deserves this recognition. Once aspired to work in ISRO, if pursued successfully i would have felt hundred times jubilant today. Following this huge breakthrough, there was a discussion in Orkut community highlighting the cost such missions demand. It further went on to say “the finance used in such missions are a waste and need to be channelled to improve the life of the mediocre living in the country”. When my left eye evoked acid on the insensibility and failing to appreciate a landmark achievement, my right eye was hit by the chord of reality it struck with.
Incandescent memories of those days surfaced, where in late eighties and early nineties when I was still schooling. My parents rented a place just outside the city limits nearby my school and dad’s office. Water Scarcity was at its prime form in southern parts of India then and the dry well in home compound was our voluble witness. Every night between 8 and 10 p.m. the water pump at the end of the street, 5 minutes away from our home, used to give boon of corporation water. All 50+ families in that street depend on those coveted 2 hours to push the next 22 hours of our lives with H2O. We would try filling almost all big vessel containers inside our home with huge thirst, within this span hitting multiple trips to the end of the road returning with PRECIOUS water filled buckets. Well! Those were simple days. After circa 20 years when I visited the town few months ago, I saw lots changed. New roads, mobile maniac, web world wide and better water access facilities – still not the best though. As lovely as it sounds, still people below poverty dwell in streets. Water scarcity is flooded everywhere not only in India but also in the rest of the world. The million dollar question now is should these problems stop a country from making scientific progress and making her mark in history?NO!!!
Current exponential explosion in technology is achieved after spending many billions and trillions of dollars all over the world towards scientific innovations. The good news is, in theory, a portion of the currency earned by some millionaires and billionaires are reaching poor and needy through charity organisations.
Coming back to where we started, there is a now a section of perplexed scientific community raking their brains on how water got to the surface of moon. ISRO with bolstered confidence believes this as the naughtiness of water possessed asteroids and meteors crashing onto the moon. Hey, since 1969 there were numerous missions to moon from our planet and who knows how many of those guys spilled some H’s and O’s in those aeonian visits contaminating the flawless Moon?
The irony here is some people believe that it may not actually be water on moon’s surface. From Rain water harvesting we have rapidly moved to a topic called Moon water harvesting even before confirming what we found is water (H2O) or hydroxyl (OH). It is believed that the so-called water particles on moon can be harvested for future Mars missions. Chandrayaan II is getting equipped with Russian Rover to dig lunar soil.
It is time for me to sign off with adage “Big bad time for Moon has just begun”.
I treated self, getting scared to death watching Final destination Part IV movie last week. The entire four parts, target on one ironic concept – “One can never cheat death”. Of course the execution to remind the reality is no Cinderella story. If part I turn your stomach upside down on every flight take off, part II leaves no stone unturned to disturb your peace while driving through motorways. Well, part III and IV does not bother me much as I am not a great fan of either roller coaster or motor races. However, the method in which death hunts people back who escaped these gruesome accidents, try to create phobia in weaker minds for crossing roads, swimming, cooking, DIY and even watching movies in cinema; almost every day to day activity in life is projected dangerous. Contempt of death is taken seriously by nature in these movies. Optimistically speaking, they highlight how careless we could get in routine life.
Everybody knows what their final destination is. Its just we do not know when, how and where. So, let’s move out of this uncomfortable domain to a less creepy subject – “Destiny”. What is destiny and how many of us believe in one? It’s complicated to define destiny which has diverse interpretations. One such interpretation is “the unexpected outcome of effort, put towards a set target”. When I was in school I set target to become a doctor and did work towards the goal. The unexpected outcome – here is one software professional pouring her heart in web logs. Some may say that I am destined to become what I am today. Should we say that a guy who started his career as a surveyor went on to become the first president of United States - a destiny? Or should we also conclude that a young lad who started his career as a newspaper vendor went to become an aeronautical engineer and eventually the eleventh president of India - a destiny? I am not sure how Geroge Washington and Abdul Kalam would respond for that. Chortle, may be?
Another interpretation of destiny is “The outcome of something one does not have any control of”. Fine examples are - birth and death. Do we have an option to choose to who we are to be born? Most of the times we do not have the opportunity to choose on whose arms we are to exhale our last breathe. (Let’s leave suicides alone)
In olden days even marriage and career were considered to be in destiny’s hand. Eventually, people started empowering selves to write their own. Almost every human being is now free to choose their life partners, do the job they wish and live the way they want. One of the key developments is Women Empowerment. Gone by those days where women were considered only to fit into the homemaker frame. 21st century women efficiently cruise their ways from modelling ramps, to corporate chairs, to high tech NASA satellite launches to tennis lawn courts. Who better than Oprah Winfrey can vouch on women empowerment? Said to be hailed from an abusive family today she is one of the world’s wealthiest, successful and influential woman. They may have started with a different goal and may have ended something else in life. Yet, the bottom line here is, they succeed. In modern world every individual reckons they are destined to succeed in life.
Destiny, Luck, Fate all form just a negligible percentage in life. Rest is in our hands.We can make the difference if we put our hearts, brain and hard-work towards what we want.
“Maasi” mom screamed at the moment I entered home.
“Ranjith’s mom said that you had detention again at school today. You are no more taking seat in last bench row. I am meeting Madam Francis tomorrow to discuss that. Are you listening?” She continued.
“Let him get fresh first. Leave him alone for sometime. He looks tired” Dad came to my rescue.
“Your pamper ruins him. Look at him. Does it seem like he is straight from school? I am sure he was playing around in school ground dodging his Mam’s detention” Mom was in no mood to back off.
Unwilling to stop any further, I reached my room, shut the door and headed straight to bath room respecting nature’s call. “WHAT A RELIEF!” I thought.
“We named him after my Dad only to spoil that great man’s reputation” my mom went on and on and on. My dad had very recently acquired PhD in lending deaf ears to my mom’s yelling and it worked big time.
After relaxing a good 15 minutes under hot shower, I dressed up and switched on my PC. Browsing through the folders I eyed my favourite song “You know my name” by Chris cornell, sound track from Casino Royale. I kicked on the song using media player in repeat mode. Leaning on the wall next to my bed, I looked back at the boulders of odds in the life of a 12 year old boy like me; both inside and outside the school.
Cornell started in a mesmerizing tone
“If you take a life
Do you know what you'll give?
Odds are you won't like What it Is.”
Early this evening caught for making a prank during math hours, Prema Mam doused me into the world of imposition, after school, for one and a half hours. With hurting knuckles I walked through the corridor towards my classroom. On the way, office boy Munna warned me of the impending evening darkness and gate close timings. Having no intension to spend any more time at school, I ignored the sense to pee, ran into my class, picked my school bag, and walked towards the main gate.
As predicted by Munna, it was close to darkness outside. Home being in a distance of 10 minutes walk from school, with no fear I cruised through the main road enjoying the buzz. All I had to do was take the third right (Brindavan street), followed by first left (1st cross street) and couple more small streets to reach home. Engrossed in the impeccable silence in 1st Cross Street I initially failed to notice the danger waiting for me in short distance. After few steps I spotted that black dog having brown eyes, mouth wide open with tongue hanging down having pals surrounded. I recognized him. It was him, the same him in the same street.
“Maasi. Dinner is ready” Mom’s voice jerked me and my thoughts simultaneously.
Cornell continued in poignant voice
“I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line”
Knowing that more alerts are in pipeline from mom, without any response I let black and white concentric circle swirl before my eyes. Flashback! Circa 10 days ago:
“Maasi, pick that stone in your hand” Sundar ordered in a scream
Obeying immediately to his command I picked not one but two stones and ran towards him and Ranjith asking “done, but why?”
“Throw, throw on them. They are running” Ranjith, the aspiring army officer ran after chasing the dogs. Sundar and I being obedient soldiers showered the dogs with stone bombs. Little did I know then “What goes around comes around”
“King Maasi. Do you want dinner in your room?” Mom’s sarcastic voice pierced my ears again. “Coming. 2 minutes” I shouted my attendance.
“Arm yourself because no one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you”
The warning in Cornell’s voice made me plunge back again into the thoughts of what happened in 1st cross street.
“Grrrrrrrr” the dog positioned right in front of me
I stood motionless, helpless confronting the worst foes in the dark street with flickering street lights. I slightly turned my head to have glimpse of any human movement on the street. There were none.
“May be they were all watching TV” I wondered.
Cornell echoed
“It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
I looked down expecting to find some stones for self-defense. There were some just in front of the dog and all of a sudden I realized that both he and I were looking at the same spot. The dog took the first step towards me reading my thoughts, with vengeance. With shivering legs, racy heart and blank mind all I had to do was cry. Fighting through the tears, still lacking any movement I overcame the intimidation posed by my enemy, with some serious haggling with GOD and cursing Sundar and Ranjith. The only logical solution I could think then was running back to the main road flooded with human folks. Picking all my strength, shunning the school bag weighing more than 2kgs on the street, I started to run back like Ben Johnson. The realization of running for life helped me hold my breath and muster all my energy in-spite of facing a tired day at school. The dogs closing on me in high speed bothered more than achy legs and struggle in my breath. Just in right time I touched the main road, but tripped on a rock and fell to my face. People on road took no time to understand what was happening and tried to hunt down the dogs away from me. With a fusion of anger, anguish, tears and frustration I picked some stones and threw back at the dogs even though they were out of vicinity. Few people consoled me, took me back to the street and helped me find my bag. Couple of them escorted me till few steps away from home. All the way, to my irritation, I was advised not to run on seeing dogs and at the same time, to my amusement I was commended for my presence of mind and bravery.
Cornell rocked in high pitch now
“The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name”
“I was a daredevil” I praised myself. “And no one messes up with me, with Maasi”
“Maasi, are you coming out or shall I come in” mom’s threatening voice suggested that it was my last chance to deem some respect. I waited for the song to end.
Cornell raised his voice to conclude
“You Know My Name
You Know My Name
You Know My Name”
I stood up with force, facing the full-size mirror with fingers pointing like gun, swirled twice and dialogued “I am Mani. MaasilaMani”
I turned off media player and left the room hopping with glee dreaming one day to become JAMES BOND.
Not all, but some of us are confused recipes. Aren’t we? Who are we?
Born in mother country brewed in her heritage, nurtured by her culture and brought up with her people for years and years, we sometimes take solace in the arms of surrogate mother country who promises advanced lifestyle, high value currency and pledging a healthy career. Enthusiastically, we wave “Bye Bye” assuring our mother country to return back in no time, failing to notice a sarcastic, plaintive yet proud moment in her. The fairy tale begins with, by commanding a sudden respect among our not so kin, friends and family, breathing rejuvenated life in the new found shelter and dousing self in new mom’s culture. Striving to be-friend her children, we try and become one of them and as first measure some of us emulate their accent. Not to mention, varied reasons given for the new emerging style; “It’s easy for them to understand me than before” “It changes automatically you know”. People know they harbour the real reasons in devil’s workshop.
We are very proficient in setting and shaking our own promises. Some of us assure our mother land to return home within stipulated “number” of years and then realising her inability to haggle, clever people gradually increase the numbers and eventually use subjective adjectives like “few” instead of numbers. Here, people do not understand what they want from life, however, know what not to loose and refuse to be vocal about it. As years go by, completely accustomed to the lavishness thrown by new found mother land, we face the ultimate reality check with an opportunity to settle with her deserting the home country. Here we start using phrases like “World is our oyster”, “Its all for the kids”. We give ourselves written to comfort and currency and this is where hypocrisy takes a back seat and truth surfaces.
Shunning our own land completely to embrace the new one for lifetime, invokes a sense of rush, a sense of panic. People once prepared to do anything to mingle with new community, now suddenly feel lost in the middle of the same crowd. Craving to reach back to the roots some emerge forming groups of similar individuals psychologically in sync. People in group begin enjoying regional celebrations together (which in the past they may have preferred valuing it in private). We secretly or candidly extend support to our home country in sports when they compete against our current living land and here we become the perfect ingredient of a confused recipe.
